What does grieving have to do with living life fully?

My work involves grief recovery and life fulfillment. What does one have to do with the other? You might ask.

By the time we’re middle-aged, most of us have suffered a major loss or a combination of losses. I define major loss as a life-altering circumstance that can cause drastic changes in one’s well-being and everyday routine.

When a major loss hits us, we get messages from friends, family and society like: Don’t feel bad. Replace the loss. With time you’ll be feeling fine again. You just have to get on with living.

The good-intentioned advice oftentimes hurts more than it helps. The tips and strategies and advice might be useful if it were our mind that was broken. But, it’s our heart that feels devastated.

So what does grieving have to do with fulfillment? A fulfilling life could be defined as a life full of what makes you happy, satisfied, and at peace within your heart, mind, and body. Each of us has our own individual specifics that further define having a fulfilling life.

Grieving is about telling the truth concerning how your heart feels, instead of sugarcoating how you’re feeling in order to appear like you’re a strong person, or acting like you can do everything just like you used to, or staying alone in your room instead of reaching out to those who love you.

Telling the truth is what leads to a fulfilling life. It’s not easy, because telling the truth can mean we have to allow others to see into our broken heart and confused mind. It’s not comfortable because our mask of “I’m just fine” is removed and we’re not even sure what lies underneath. Telling the truth and doing something about living that truth can be quite the challenge, especially when it means dealing with new circumstances and making even more changes. The truth heals our heart and soothes our very soul.

Taking actions that will lead to recovery from a devastating loss will open your heart and free your mind. Having me as your guide (or the right coach for you) is like saying yes to walking down an unfamiliar road, blind, with a wise, unconditionally loving elder guiding your way.