"Defining Moments"

A "defining moment" is defined as a point at which the essential nature or character of a person, group, etc., is revealed or identified. (Origin: 1980–85. Dictionary.com Unabridged.)

By journaling about some challenging times in my life, I uncovered something I’ve been grappling with: How have my defining moments affected my present life and work? What is my overarching personal and business message? As I live by it, how has it helped me?

My message is: The more we take responsibility for the situation we are in, the more we are capable of acting based on what we value, not based on what makes us comfortable. As we act from our values, from what we are passionate about, we have the strength and courage to think, say, and do that which ordinarily we just wouldn’t or couldn’t. When our actions are aligned with our values, we have peace of mind and an open heart. We give and receive more love. Our actions are more productive and fulfilling.

Daring to delve into the turning points in our lives—sometimes the most painful times—we end up more aware of what we really value in life. As we heal the deep wounds, we are empowered to take giant leaps in creating more of what we need and want. We gain energy, motivation, and passion to take on the present challenges we’ve been avoiding, sometimes at great cost.

Whether it’s getting healthy, recovering from a devastating loss, communicating with an estranged relative or spouse or child, or getting out of a toxic workplace or relationship, coming to terms with our defining moments can be an awakening of the courage and strength needed to take difficult next actions.

What are the defining moments in your life? How have they affected you? If you were to take responsibility for the circumstance most harmful to your well-being, what would be your next action?