What is "grief work"? How does doing grief work restore my energy?

I’m feeling lost right now. I’m stuck in not knowing what I should be doing. And even if I did know, I don’t have energy to do it. Then I realize when I feel this way, it’s a good time for me to write. So that’s what I’m doing. Writing leads me to think about and talk about grief—because grief is a very wide doorway to creating something new.

Grief work is not likely to prompt one to say “Oh, good! It’s time to do some grief work.” But, if you frequently find yourself not knowing what you “should” be doing and not having the energy or desire to do much of anything, you may be grieving a loss.

Sometimes grieving feels like sitting and not really feeling or thinking anything. It’s like white space on a canvass, the blank look before panic sets in, or being frozen and unable to move. If you sit in that feeling, a new feeling or thought comes in and moves you to another place—something a bit more comfortable. So, we sigh and feel glad to be out of the know-nothing, feel-nothing place.

Sometimes it’s the opposite. It’s the overwhelm of thoughts and feelings, or the feeling of something very painful. It’s so uncomfortable that we get into super-busy mode—too busy to feel anything.

Doing grief work is choosing to go into the places of the heart, mind, and body that are filled with pain. Sometimes we’re willing to go there because we’re just so tired of suppressing the feelings. We get exhausted by pretending and lying.

Choosing to delve into these thoughts, memories, and feelings, and ask what the message is, may be the most powerful way to create something new. Going into the pain may be the most direct route to generating pure energy and the power of our passion.