what do you say to someone who is grieving

Speaking through my heart is what I do when I'm having a conversation that makes a difference in someone's life. I "think" my thoughts (which aren't always clear, or even so nice), then I put them through the heart-wringer which softens, warms, and gives them that inviting tone. You know, the one that says this person really cares about you.
When someone dies, we are often at a loss for words as to what to say to family and close friends. We sometimes panic and say whatever comes to mind.
There is wonderful information from grief support services about what to say and what not to say. They tell us there are a number of things that are just not at all helpful. In fact, some can be down-right irritating to the griever, phrases like: Time will heal; and, Well, at least she didn't suffer.
As important, if not more important than what we say, is how we say it.
If we were to put our thoughts of consolation, through our heart with it's warming glow; magically the result is heartfelt words that get heard as truly helpful. The griever, even if for just-a-moment has a sense of not being so alone.
The critical difference is slowing down from our hectic pace when talking with a person who is grieving a major loss in their life. It takes a moment to stop thinking about you, think about the other person. Move your thoughts into your heart and say what you feel.