Tuesday, March 25, 2008

Steps out of the comfort zone

I say I want to make a difference. I know deep down within myself that making a difference in someone's life-even if it's just a "little" thing-makes me feel good. I also know that feeling good about myself makes my life a joyful experience.
Then I remember what it takes to make a difference. It usually takes risking being hurt, at the very least it takes moving out of my comfort zone. And the bigger the difference I'm wanting to make, the more I have to be willing to risk!
This is where the rubber meets the road in the land of really living a joyfilled life. What I'm learning and reflecting upon is: making a difference is a one-step-at-a-time process like other worthwhile pursuits.
I can take baby steps, acknowledge the outcome, and go on to a bigger action. Tomorrow is the first day of a speakers bootcamp I'm participating in. I don't even want to go out speaking. But I know that as a speaker I will have the opportunity to take forward steps in fulfilling my heart's desire of sharing what I know and what I have experienced that might help others.

Thursday, March 6, 2008

The Blessings of Doing Grief Recovery

As I think about my purpose in the work I do as a coach specializing in grief recovery, I ask myself questions that others have asked me. What helps when I'm in that very uncomfortable feeling of overwhelm, confusion, sadness, and depression? Is this feeling a result of the group of losses I experienced in a short period of time? And if so, can I accurately say it's a result of grief?
If it is, just in naming it, I feel some power in dealing with it. I remember the definition of grief as "the conflicting feelings caused by the end of or change in a familiar pattern of behavior. Grief is the normal and natural reaction to loss. " (Grief Recovery Institute)
Yes, I sure had a lot of that. No wonder I feel stuck and lost sometimes.
Some explanation of why there are these times and what to do to get past it, helps me know it's a temporary feeling. As I allow myself to just sit and feel, I experience peace coming to my mind, a feeling of "I'm OK." I can acknowledge myself for the difficult times I've been through and that I am a strong and courageous person who has a lot to give to others as I take good care of myself.
Doing grief recovery work has me understand myself and my response in my daily circumstances and relationships. Notice I say "response." Before doing my ongoing grief work, I would be in an automatic reaction to stuff that happened each day. Now, I can more consciously choose what I say, what I do.
This to me is the true meaning of freedom - having the power to choose.
So, doing my grief work - that is, not being afraid to think about painful memories and feel those feelings surrounding tough times - opens me to fully participating every day in my life. It allows me to really enjoy my days, even the times that are not so comfortable.